What is Gaslighting? | Kati Morton on mental health | Kati Morton

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  • katma 15 May 2017
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    Gaslighting is often used by sociopaths or narcissists for emotional manipulation. They will use them in different ways and for different reasons, but these are the people who manipulate the most.
    Gaslighting is a term that comes from an old movie where a guy manipulates a woman so that he can get her jewels. What gaslighting really is, is emotional abuse. When someone is being gaslighted, they will be told that their memory of things, or what they felt in a certain situation is wrong. The whole goal of this type of abuse is to get a person to question their perception, memory, or even their sanity.
    Signs that you are being gaslit:
    1. You always second guess yourself
    2. You find yourself excusing the abusive behavior
    3. You lack confidence and second guess yourself constantly
    4. You struggle to make decisions on your own
    5. You often feel like you can't do anything right.
    I know many of these may sound the same, and you are right. If someone is telling us that what we thought happened, didn't happen. Or that the abuse we swear we sustained wasn't really that bad, we will begin to not trust our own mind or memory. This can make us feel bad about who we are and erode our confidence.
    Luckily there are things we can do to get out of these relationships!
    1. Seek outside support. I would prefer it be both friends and a professional. The reason for this is because we will need someone who can help us heal from the abuse while we will need a friend or family member to help us when we question how things happened. Having both on board is best!
    2. Start using feeling charts. I know this may be annoying, but in order to begin acknowledging how we feel and accepting it, we will need to check in with ourselves each day and notice how we feel.
    3. Work on self talk! You know this is my favorite thing, but it can truly change your life. Work to talk positively to yourself by saying 5 nice things at the end of each day.
    4. Set boundaries! Say no! Here are some videos to help with that: trclips.com/video/KhW4g9urdXQ/video.html trclips.com/video/vAcWIRuoZRc/video.html
    5. Mindfulness! Take time each day to pull your focus in and notice how you are feeling, what may be upsetting you and find ways to start verbalizing it. We have to build up the trust between us and our mind again. This is a great way to start.
    Please share this video! So many of you have requested this topic, and that means that many others are suffering in silence. You never know who may need to hear this! xoxo
    Narcissistic Personality Disorder: trclips.com/video/vjaeBMseW3o/video.html
    Anti-Social Personality Disorder: trclips.com/video/VSdyktUjZSI/video.html ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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    I'm Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos - Depression, Eating Disorders, Anxiety, Self-Harm and more! Mental health shouldn't have a stigma attached to it. You're worth the fight!
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YORUMLAR • 750

  • Kati Morton
    Kati Morton  2 yıl önce +197

    Has this happened to you? Share your story in the comments.

    • Francesca Moscarella
      Francesca Moscarella Aylar önce

      What you can do if your parent is a emotional abuse? My mother is a narcissistic and I have already go away from home but she still pays my university fee. Should i just wait until i am financial independent. Plus in my country there are shelters only for sexual and phisic abuse and the mother's figure is sacred so it's very hard to explain my situation

    • Janet DiGriz
      Janet DiGriz 2 aylar önce

      It's hard to not feel hatred when you've been the target of a raging destructive narcissist. It's been years and I am still dealing with the effects.

    • V w
      V w 3 aylar önce

      Unfortunately I've had this happen to me multiple times. And by the same person. It took me awhile to realize what was happening. Worst part of it is a few times, he nearly had me convinced that he loved me. But the things that he would say to me and how he would behave around other people and how he would treat me, were inexcusable.

    • ashley bs
      ashley bs 4 aylar önce

      Can you get gaslighted by your ... own mother

    • Margreet Groothedde
      Margreet Groothedde 5 aylar önce

      Thank you for this video. Made so much clear to me. I feel always a kind of doubtness when I talk about the (emotional) abuse that took place @ home. It feels so cereal. I notice the signs you describe, doubting yourself, doubting your memories and your sanity. At the same time it's a sort of addictiveness that thrives me to my parents. Find it very difficult to my own parent and take care of myself and not give this responsibility to others.

  • Falak Shah
    Falak Shah 4 gün önce

    U r amazing, I wanted to go to a therapist but I can't afford it n now I'm totally confused about Wt to do.

  • Robert all. Dawson
    Robert all. Dawson 9 gün önce

    I'm being gaslighted by management at the senior apartment complex that I live in, so I retaliate by going anti social on all of the functions around on the campus.

  • L KS
    L KS 11 gün önce

    Biggest gaslighting triumphs of the century: gender is a social construct, Islam is a religion of peace, there is no population replacement agenda in Europe...

  • Megan Nicole
    Megan Nicole 16 gün önce

    Gaslighting, from my experience, is when you try to communicate concerns and he says something along the lines of, "You're just being anxious. That's not real or rational. I know I didn't do that. What you think is your own fault." I literally developed a situational anxiety disorder (GAD) because of my last relationship. I made it out, and I'm thankful for what I've learned, but it was tough as hell.

  • Leah M Ryan
    Leah M Ryan 17 gün önce

    This was a huge part of my upbringing. Before a lot of healing I had all of those symptoms.

  • Death N0va
    Death N0va 21 gün önce

    This is false and never happened. You're crazy!

  • Tel Trumbley
    Tel Trumbley Aylar önce

    I just left my ex who I'm positive is a low to mid functioning bpd. But I really believe she didnt try to hurt me, she just wanted me to stay. But how do I know if im right or just making excuses for her part in the problem?

  • Lyna K
    Lyna K Aylar önce

    are they this way with everyone or they choose the person they want to manipulate ??

  • TheReel Nick
    TheReel Nick Aylar önce

    my BS narcicist father

  • TM L
    TM L Aylar önce

    My dad drove my mom crazy this way.

  • TM L
    TM L Aylar önce

    There was a sick perversive coworker that was going to school for a therapist she knew about gaslighting and she had her friends try this on me ..she hated me

  • Maria Gonzalez
    Maria Gonzalez Aylar önce

    What if this person is your mother?

  • Girl George
    Girl George Aylar önce

    I love the analogy of trauma as a splintered marble. So true; the shards go everywhere and it sucks.

  • 冬レン
    冬レン Aylar önce

    Very good! Thank you. I was bound for six years in an emotionally abusive relationship. There was gaslighting, the pity game, and much more. Your videos made me understand a lot of what happened. I felt pity for them even after their true character became clear. A very dark and destructive time in my life.

  • Allison’slibraryknook
    Allison’slibraryknook 2 aylar önce

    This is my dad. I’m still living with my parents and it’s been horrific. Hoping to move out soon. Y’all aren’t alone. ❤️

  • pink custard
    pink custard 2 aylar önce

    What if someone gaslights you whenever you bring up something they did you hurt you, but otherwise you get on well and they are nice to you?

  • Corrie Van Oostrum
    Corrie Van Oostrum 2 aylar önce

    Thank you so much for making this video!!!

  • Cali Nana
    Cali Nana 2 aylar önce

    Katie, Just found this channel and must say you’re amazingly relatable. Never ever been to or watched a therapist of your knowledge or level that was so on point without being clinical and insulting. My second and last therapy appointment was with a woman that was apparently not of this planet and would speak down to patients in a very monotone manner.
    Your pieces have been very educational, eye opening, light hearted at times and always comforting even validating several things that I need to work on personally as to myself and my relationships.
    Thank you, thank you, thank you👍🏻🥳👍🏻

  • San Ya
    San Ya 2 aylar önce

    When I need comforting, I come to your TRclips page and watch your videos. It makes me feel better, every time. Thank you Kati

  • Will Neverforgets
    Will Neverforgets 2 aylar önce

    That was my life... I got rid of them, I only found out later that it was the correct course of action!

  • Matthew Logan
    Matthew Logan 2 aylar önce

    Check out gang stalking

  • Bash Yre
    Bash Yre 2 aylar önce

    I think ive chosen at one point in my childhood that there was no point thinking or memorizing things, coz ihad been getting feedback that ive been doing it wrong.
    Now i suck at analitical thinking and memorizing. Im more active with the right hemisphere in creative and daydreaming way

  • Valhalla
    Valhalla 2 aylar önce

    In my past relationship, I could never be right. The most I got (and I only got that, when I referred to actual scientific studies etc.) was: "oh well I guess I'd have to do more research, but I don't find this subject to be so interesting anyway." I NEVER heard, that I was correct. NEVER. I recently broke up and am looking for a new apartment but even this short amount of time without him has really boosted my confidence.

  • Martina M
    Martina M 2 aylar önce

    Yeah I think my father is a narcisist. He was emotionally abusive towards me my whole life(he'd call me an idiot , said I destroyed everything I touched, he once called me the great big mistake of his life) and even molested me once in my late teens-while my mother was in the room (he was drunk). He was what would be called a high functioning alcoolic, as well. Since I moved out(in my late 20s),I am trying to cut contact with him but am being guilt-tripped into maintaing a relationship with him by my mother who is manipulating me
    by guilt - tripping. It is very hard for me because i have nobody else around - no close friends, no romantic relationship, no other family close, and my parents are in their 60s, so they paint a picture of me being the bad daughter who doesnt care about the aging parents anymore and is selfish. They are not all bad and do have qualities, but they are heavily buried under piles of shitty personality traits.

  • Karl Projektorinski
    Karl Projektorinski 3 aylar önce

    Is it a form of gaslighting when you express your concerns about it to your abuser, and they convince you that you are the one abusing and gaslighting? All of these symptoms resonate with me from my last relationship, but also I'm concerned that I've been the manipulative one. That's also something my ex would do, is turn things around on me especially when I was the one with concerns, by the end of the conversation I'd feel terrible for bringing anything up. He'd say I was always nitpicking and finding his flaws.

  • Tori Talks
    Tori Talks 3 aylar önce

    My mom would get upset and start telling me that the memories of her abuse were fake. And that I have a terrible memory, or that I’m a liar and that It never happened

  • Erzsébet Zsuzsanna Bükkös

    Hello Kati! This is a very useful video with very useful advices! I'm 33 and still cannot rid of my abusive family members! Of course I tried. My case is very difficult.

  • Agnes Jeffery
    Agnes Jeffery 3 aylar önce +1

    Is it still gaslighting if someone tells you how you feel or what you think? Like, if you say "I feel this way" and someone else says, "No you feel another way," or if you say, "I think this" and someone else says, "No, you think this other thing." For example, if a parent tells a child they are lying.

  • Omar Khalil
    Omar Khalil 3 aylar önce

    I gaslight with tiny amount of effort I have sharper tools in my bag

  • Omar Khalil
    Omar Khalil 3 aylar önce

    my therapist says I have schizophrenia even though I don't hear voices or see things or have irrational thoughts?? and she wants me to take medication for schizophrenia?

  • Koneko Yagami
    Koneko Yagami 3 aylar önce

    Why are all the gaslighting youtube videos explained in the context of a relationship? My co-worker is the gaslighter.

  • Victoria Grace
    Victoria Grace 3 aylar önce

    Saying no. Omg. I say no to establish a boundary and my parents immediately get called and pulled in on knowing I said no to my sister. Sister then gets my mom to help her, which is upsetting bc my mom has enough going on. Cycling. This happens over and over and over. Dad calls to see if I really had to say no or not.

  • me me
    me me 3 aylar önce

    U r so cute when u say no

  • Karina Passi
    Karina Passi 3 aylar önce

    My now ex was gaslighting so bad, he couldn't hear himself doing it! He was sure I was wrong, so I said let's prove it and record our conversations!...Like a dog with a tail between his legs... I was out of that relationship shortly after this event. He's narcissist, I'm seeing a therapist and was becoming more empowered, I saw him for who he was and I was discarded for his co-worker/rebound/wife(3 months after breakup he proposed, 3 months after that married) as his next supply. His best friend was a roommate for a short time and was a witness, so he completely understood the breakup.

  • Destiny DiMattei
    Destiny DiMattei 3 aylar önce

    When I listened to this I discovered that I am might have been gaslighted. I can’t remember exact instances but the symptoms match what I went through completely. The times when I was emotionally abused is when I lived with my friend and her boyfriend. The three of us had an apartment together and she also had children. When you said one example is making excuses for the person it made me think of how I made excuses for my best friend and put all the blame on her boyfriend when a lot of it was because of him but my family so that part of it came from her as well. I still have trouble coping with that but I am trying to MoveOn. I am away from them now.

  • Lovely Little Furry Tails

    I definitely recommend Livejournal (a person can make it private or add "friends to make comments) been using it 18 years now (different accounts though) and I have "friends" on mine who give me feedback on my thoughts or they'll just relate. Also, I sometimes would use the notepad on my phone but discovered a speech to text app because I don't just talk in my head sometimes to myself, I talk out loud to myself a lot but now I can get it typed as I speak then transfer into handwriting (something's I write, as I take notes from videos on TRclips sometimes or websites etc or just that day prefer writing) or transfer to LiveJournal (the app is SpeechNotes). My last therapist (I've had a lot and I know that may be not necessarily "healthy") said she does it too, talks out loud to herself (my mom told me when I told her if anyone ever outside [thin walls] heard me they'd think I was "crazy" but she reminded me they'd more likely think I was talking on the phone or to someone). I am never talking to anyone who's "not there" though, just myself when I'm trying to figure things out and make sense of things, sometimes literally talking it out helps more.

  • Alejandro Hernández
    Alejandro Hernández 3 aylar önce

    My previous boyfriend was gaslighting me for almost 5 years, it’s difficult to accept that the other person is doing it to you because you think they love you, but, in my case, I asked him to take every single decision. I’m already out of that relationship and took me years to change my way of thinking, but once in a while I notice I start doing the same mistake. My friends, family and actual partner help me identify those situations so I can choose what I want.

  • Something You Said
    Something You Said 4 aylar önce +1

    You provided me with a clear and well rounded explanation of a concept that I had not even heard of before. Thank you for that.

  • Cudgy Merci
    Cudgy Merci 4 aylar önce

    This is helping me alot..

  • Cudgy Merci
    Cudgy Merci 4 aylar önce

    I know my best friend is Gaslighting me...but is she doing it on purpose or on accident...

  • Unique Mitchell
    Unique Mitchell 4 aylar önce

    Kati Morton I would just like you to know I appreciate you so much. I am 27 and just started facing my emotional and mental past traumas. And your videos have been then start of my healing process. One of the main things people need in these situations. Are people to help them become aware of what is happening. Before watching your videos I didn't even know the terminology. Or realize that so many things were a form of abuse until watching your videos. Thank you so much for choosing to spend your time to help, educate and heal. ❤️

  • sticmatic
    sticmatic 4 aylar önce

    Thanks for the Video 👴 Just wanna add, in risc of being a smartass: Narcissism is NOT a diagnosis. A personality disorder is. Everybody is (and should be) a narcissist - as well as we should be altruists. I hope those statements do not accidently gaslight anything. Btw I always thought it was a weird sex practice that has to do with methane.

  • David77646
    David77646 4 aylar önce

    Grow New Zealand Management (A supposed Mental health support group run by its own members ) uses Gaslighting . I have been sworn at, belittled mocked and ridiculed, so will you if you attend a Grow meeting in Auckland. Your safety both emotional and physical can’t be guaranteed. I have been called a predator, sexual harasser and paedophile amongst other things. Someone from Grow rang my work anonymously to say as much. I was verbally trespassed from Grow by the accountant who had no authority to do so, he is an employee, not a Grow member or officially on any type of Management team. All this was done without a shred of evidence or fact, that I had done anything wrong.
    I had three to four independent witnesses who observed this behaviour and name calling and attempted to intervene, to no avail. The Management team closes ranks and denies what happens until you doubt yourself.
    There was absolutely no truth behind any accusations against me, it was simply to destroy and humiliate me until my situation in Grow became intolerable and untenable. I felt suicidal for the first time in a very long time with some of the more extreme accusations, I have felt depressed since, more so when promised investigations into who called me these offensive names was not actioned. Rather than helping me, made me fell far worse. Thanks for nothing. Over forty people attended Auckland's St Lukes group from February 2018 to November 2018. Thirty-one of these people upon follow up advised they would not be becoming back to a meeting because they felt unsafe. This was reported to Management and nothing was done. When one person was about to lodge a complaint with the Health and Disability Commissioner, it was requested by the Management team that it be withdrawn, as the matter would be handled internally. It has been 12 weeks (At time of writing) and nothing has been done other than to the person (complained against) being suspended for a fortnight (called stress leave) but it does not address the underlying problems. This type of behaviour has lead to the withdrawal of Government funding via District Health Boards but it continues to limp on
    with approximately 60 people attending eight sub groups New Zealand wide.

  • Tammy James
    Tammy James 4 aylar önce

    wow! my daughter does this to me all the time. what a eye opener.

  • Bigolbitch
    Bigolbitch 4 aylar önce

    I’ve been gaslight by an ex girlfriend, every time we would argue she would say that it didn’t happen and she told me to trust her memory more than mine because I’m known for having a bad memory. One time she said something that really hurt my feelings and when I brought it up just minutes afterwards she said she would never do that and that i just heard her wrong.

    • Bigolbitch
      Bigolbitch 4 aylar önce

      I posted this before watching your entire video, I’ve now realized that I was in a horrendously abusive relationship

  • Taylor Barnett
    Taylor Barnett 4 aylar önce

    I’m not even in this kind of relationship anymore but this is just my personality now because this was my mom.

  • Elicia Garcia
    Elicia Garcia 4 aylar önce +1

    This was happening to me but I didn’t know about gaslighting, manipulation, or what an abusive relationship was. It’s so freeing once you get it. When you aren’t educated on what this is and you don’t really get it, then of course you get baited. It’s a HORRIBLE mind game because they are pretending that they’re coming from a loving place and they’re trying to make you feel like you’re crazy and wrong to get their way instead of actually caring about how you feel and what you need. It’s like those people who hunt rabbits by petting them so that the rabbit will be still and less difficult and won’t try to run away.

  • theblondetrap5
    theblondetrap5 4 aylar önce

    My husband has done this for years and I have just realised. I have become a shell of a human being, stupidly cannot walk away from the marriage even though I know it's the only way to move forward and live again. I wouldn't wish this gaslighting thing on my worst enemy.

  • Matthew Corn
    Matthew Corn 4 aylar önce +1

    "Just trust wifey."
    She always said that. She always wanted me to go by what she told me.
    "I love you."
    But the actions didn't match. If you love me, why does it feel like you hate me? Why do I feel like nothing more than an accessory to your life, unworthy of having opinions unless they're shared by you already?
    "I love you."
    Why, then, are you constantly exposing me to things you know trigger me? Why do you refuse to talk to me about this life we 'share'?
    I'm taking ownership of myself this year. Just 3 weeks away from her, and therapy is helping so much more. It's harder than ever, but I'm no longer uncertain about reality. No longer fighting ghosts. No longer trying to deal with your amateur extra diagnosis of my condition. I'll trust my therapist and doctor and my own eyes and ears from now on. I'm me, and I'm mine. No one else's.

  • Kaepora Gaebora
    Kaepora Gaebora 5 aylar önce

    I remember I think my mother used to tell me I was a monster when I acted badly. When I told my brothers and my mother they all told me I was making that up and that I was making a drama. I biggest secret when I was a child 5-7 years old was that I was a bad girl at home and a good girl at school. One day my uncle came at home without me knowing and he heard me having an argument with my mother, and I hid in the bathroom, I was really young. My mother came to me and said that it was okay and reassured me, but I still thought I was a bad girl.
    I was a really good child btw.
    I remember I don't know how long it was but my mother came to pick me up at school and I sat in the back of the car and she talked with a friend in the car and it felt like an hour or two. Her friend looked at me and said ''waw she's really patient she doesn't even complain''. I felt really proud and better than other children.

  • Kaz 78
    Kaz 78 5 aylar önce

    Thankyou Katie ....... just for always being here ❤️

  • Clifford Naron
    Clifford Naron 5 aylar önce

    I was gas lighted by every one I know.I feel I have lost everyone I was close too.I will make it with out them.I found out how evil someone can be.Family and friends.I at the age of 64 will live for me and to hell with there evil.

  • Augustina KIstner
    Augustina KIstner 5 aylar önce

    Thank you for your videos. You are very easy to understand and listen to. I am not in a position to receive help because of financial issues, but with self reflection and inner dialogue I am able to get through some of your videos feeling like I have taken away some very useful tools.

  • Centre Demon
    Centre Demon 5 aylar önce

    Im watching this alone in my apartment and a "holy f*ck!" just shot out of my mouth because you are describing my in my previous relationship. I knew it was bad and likely even abusive in a way, but I was still surprised when you were talking about defending their behaviour and thinking things like "I don't want anybody to find out because then they'll think badly of them and they're such a nice person..." That's something I've said so many times. I"m still holding in terrible things because all of my coworkers are friends of hers (since she got me the job their). Even though she's gone I don't talk about her because I don't want to damage her friendship with them. But damn, this video is really cutting through some fog. I'll have to come back to this again soon. Thank you!!!!

  • G. Ben
    G. Ben 5 aylar önce

    I dont know what my bf is. Its scaring me

  • Sarah Shaw
    Sarah Shaw 6 aylar önce

    Kati I just want to say I’m grateful that I found your channel and this video about gaslighting resonates so much with me. At 30 I became physically disabled and one of the things about having a disability is that people interpret physical frailties as mental defects or weaknesses. I have had to put up with even systematized gas-lighting by police and doctors and social workers. Your videos are helping me recognize that I’m smarter and stronger than I knew. I have been able to prevent people crossing my boundaries and I kicked an entire toxic family out of my life after my divorce. I’m never putting up with emotional abuse again and every time I watch and listen to one of your videos I learn some new things to help.
    Thanks so much for what you’re doing. It’s a huge help. Don’t get me wrong I love therapy but it’s very expensive and sometimes we get stuck with a bad therapist. I just fired one who was doing all the no-no’s you described in another video about how to recognize you have a bad therapist. This is all hugely valuable to me and others!
    Please keep up the amazing work.
    Cheers,
    Sally in Thornhill Ontario

  • Lady Uwaki
    Lady Uwaki 6 aylar önce

    Is it at all possible a third party can be gaslighting you to believe that someone else is doing the gaslighting? Also how do you know if you are the one doing the gaslighting?

  • NatureShorts
    NatureShorts 6 aylar önce

    I would encourage everyone to take gaslighting very seriously and not throw the term around lightly. I've seen this word used far more than it should be. Two people having different opinions, perspectives, or even recollections about something is not gaslighting. Gaslighting has to have the motivation of manipulation behind it and is ultimately about making the other person question/doubt his or her sanity. Remember the origin of the word is from a movie in which a man would literally move things around the house for the sole purpose of making he his wife go insane. That is far more extreme than many of the things I've seen and heard people apply this word to.

  • Renee Chen
    Renee Chen 6 aylar önce

    No!!!! :>

  • Agne Martinkute
    Agne Martinkute 6 aylar önce

    My mom is a narcissist, so I question everything in my life...

  • Mary Kincaid
    Mary Kincaid 6 aylar önce

    I get this at home and by a co-worker.....

  • Astrid Morales
    Astrid Morales 6 aylar önce

    100% described my marriage...and I'm currently in the process of divorce. Thank the Lord im of strong mind and soul and am moving past it.

  • Jodi H
    Jodi H 6 aylar önce

    My narcissist mom was awesome at gas lighting. When I learned this was a thing I was like I knew I wasn’t crazy. I was so mad.

  • Cj Kucharczyk
    Cj Kucharczyk 6 aylar önce

    My dad gaslights me everytime we talk

  • Tea in the Moment
    Tea in the Moment 6 aylar önce

    My toxic and abusive family told me I had a bad memory from the time I was a teenager until the time I went No Contact with them. No one else BUT my family *ever* told me my memory was bad in either my professional or personal life!!!

  • Rob Garcia
    Rob Garcia 6 aylar önce

    Yes it has, my wife tries to change what she did years past, saying it just didn't happen. She tries to make me think that im crazy, it just hurt to much to be able to forget exactly how things really happened. If anything I feel sorry for her because what she did was so terrible that even she tries to change it in her mind. Wish I could just leave and put this 26 year marriage to an end, something stops me I dont what it is morality, principal, religion, dont know. Any comments welcomed.

  • i love pink roses
    i love pink roses 7 aylar önce

    I feel this way all the time. Every single one of those things is what I felt in my past relationship, it's different than having different opinion, because it wasn't that. He said facts and mine were wrong. My hurt, tears, etc was wrong. I'm healing and out but still doubt everything. Thank you for your videos! It helps, it truly helps. I don't have confidence to go to a therapist.

  • Gaby M
    Gaby M 7 aylar önce

    Oh jeez... the more I learn about my sister and her malignant narcissism and how it affected me growing up... all the pieces are coming together.

  • Love Law
    Love Law 7 aylar önce

    My parents used to abuse me as a child and then used gaslighting to keep me from reporting them or telling anyone - or maybe they just wanted to convince themselves they weren't the bad guys. Anyway if I told them for example that a specific thing they said or did really hurt me they would deny ever saying it and get really angry. This type of behavior is destructive to a child. I remember questioning my own sanity and memory. It's horrible.

  • SAIVSS
    SAIVSS 7 aylar önce

    omg this is my brother and my mom totally "protects" him and tries to come up with excuses for him lol

  • AudieJane
    AudieJane 7 aylar önce

    My mom unintentionally gaslights me. I take care of her affairs due to her disability and i "never do anything right" and I am "hateful because you never talk to your father, and you want to ruin my life" her words. As someone who has given up everything to make sure she doesn't end up homeless, this makes me feel like a failure in every aspect of my life. My mom was recently diagnosed with vascular dementia and her doctor is about to diagnose her with borderline personality disorder. She lives in a nursing home because her care is beyond me or home health, and she goes in for a neuropsych evaluation soon. Her doctor told me it would be healthier for me to just walk away and that I don't have to be in her life and I don't need to consent to her behavior. If the neuropsych determines she needs a guardian or conservator, then I told the doctor I will give up my power of attorney. Ive called the suicide hotline because of the things my mom has said to me. I find it very difficult to recognize it's the disease talking not her.

  • roxxyfoxify
    roxxyfoxify 7 aylar önce

    My ex did this to me, but I think he was unaware. Funnily enough, he used to tell me how his mom’s exboyfriend used to gaslight her. He made me question if I was in the wrong all the time. He’d disregard me totally and do whatever he wanted, never bothering to communicate. When I’d get upset, he’d accuse me of being smothering and unfair. It really started to mess with me. Thankfully he finally did enough to the point where I just ended the relationship.

  • Jerry Morgan JR
    Jerry Morgan JR 7 aylar önce

    The father of my Girlfriends children persuaded her into leaving me. He's a drug addict so he's super manipulative. We had a perfect relationship. Literally a perfect match. I some had problems with depression before this happened. Now I'm a wreck. I lost the ones I cared for more than anything. There's nothing I can do to fix it.

  • Santo rosquilla
    Santo rosquilla 7 aylar önce

    What if it’s my family?

  • krystal galindo
    krystal galindo 7 aylar önce

    I kind of had an idea that my ex gas lighted me when the relationship ended but this is confirming how I felt during that time because I stopped trusting myself and I felt like I second guessed everything I did like you said in this video, I also defended him when people would say things to me about him on why I should not be with him; but I never listened. Thank you so much for sharing this video with everyone because you are truly helping people like me that thought everything they did was never right and truly made me believe that I was crazy so I want to thank you for that 😊.

  • everybodylovesdevin
    everybodylovesdevin 7 aylar önce

    My boyfriend tries to gaslight me when I'm getting my period.

  • Dakota Reign Carter
    Dakota Reign Carter 7 aylar önce

    I freaking love the headspace app. Meditation helps a lot

  • Haley Gurr
    Haley Gurr 7 aylar önce

    I know this video is older, but this explains my dad. I have moved out, live on my own, have been in therapy, and have gotten a lot of healing in my relationship with my dad. But I have 2 younger siblings that live with him, and when I am home it is extremely difficult to not get involved with arguments between them when he gets upset at them and basically brick by brick tears at their self confidence, their personality, and show them how they are always wrong. It reminds me of when I was at home I would mentally turn off when my dad was lecturing/yelling at me. The reason I have a better relationship with my dad today is because I had a nervous breakdown, had to get on meds, and my dad was pulled into therapy with me. Also I moved away and he has come to respect my independence and my healing from my trauma and he is aware of how he talks to me. But it's so hard to see how he treats my siblings. I've come to learn it's not my place to get in the middle of an argument, but I try what I can to be there emotionally for my siblings and let them know I understand, I love them, and that it will get better. I'm scared, though, that how my dad (who I love) treats them when he's mad is going to push them away from him and even me

  • Zenith Let's Play
    Zenith Let's Play 7 aylar önce

    [Confidential Comment]

  • Amanda Holliday
    Amanda Holliday 7 aylar önce

    I was married to someone who I’m certain is a narcissist and who gaslighted me daily. It’s so hard when you’re in it because you trust and love this person and you believe what you’re being told. It wasn’t until I had my daughter that I “woke up” and realized what had been happening. It has been three years since I got divorced and there are times I still struggle with overcoming what I’d been told and then what I began to believe. The best thing I could have done was to remove him from my life... but it was also the scariest due to the consistent emotional abuse. Sharing my story helps at times and I thank you, Kati for making these videos and sharing tips to help me to continue to learn and grow. ❤️

  • AMelia Bedelia
    AMelia Bedelia 7 aylar önce

    Whoa. I was in an abusive relationship. I knew what he was doing was bad and manipulative but I had no idea there was a word for it. It’s been a little over a year since it ended and I’m still dealing with that relationship aftermath. Just knowing what to call what he did (and what others have done to me, honestly) makes the next steps to heal so much easier and a whole lot less scary. Thank you you. This is not the first video I’ve seen of your that has helped me put word to the way I feel. ❤️

  • assia zitouni
    assia zitouni 7 aylar önce

    soo all the signs aply to me perfectly ! i've been gaslated by my narcisstic mother my hole life !

  • zain
    zain 7 aylar önce

    I have a kink for this. Me being confused and used by a women during sex is hot.
    But outside that context it sounds awful :(

  • Mary Sheldon
    Mary Sheldon 7 aylar önce

    I am a mental health advocate and work to gain serviced for people with SMI who are houseless... So familiar with gaslighting.

  • UNCfootballgirlygirl
    UNCfootballgirlygirl 7 aylar önce

    My ex gaslighted me all the time. He would make me feel crazy and that everything is my fault. I thought that I didn’t have a choice other than to be with him. I felt so trapped. I felt like I was always walking on eggshells. He made me feel that nobody else would ever love me. I’m so glad I was able to get out of the relationship.

  • Åxįł Ghrīñdęr
    Åxįł Ghrīñdęr 7 aylar önce

    Thank you so much for this. This helped me realize that the relationship I was in was emotionally abusive, I made excuses, questioned myself, and hated myself throughout most of the relationship. Every time I challenged her she found some sneaky way to guilt me into giving in. She would often use her mental illness as a way to make me feel bad about the stuff about I was questioning her about.

  • Michelle Smith
    Michelle Smith 7 aylar önce

    Whoa! I was being gas lighted. I realize that now.

  • Mamaelana
    Mamaelana 7 aylar önce

    Kati you should watch Gaslight I think you would enjoy it. It’s a great film!

  • Sarah Akram
    Sarah Akram 7 aylar önce

    ammm.. I always second guess yourself .. I have many years ago had psychosis .. and i still take medication.. and i always second guess yourself i don't trust my memory and so on .. i am not sure if it is a bad thing ..

  • Jake Olague
    Jake Olague 7 aylar önce

    My gfs mom does this to her

  • Paget Vido
    Paget Vido 7 aylar önce

    Since when was questioning your opinions a sign of abuse? Most of our perceptions about the world are inaccurate to a degree, it's arrogant to see common sense self-questioning as insulting or abusive. How else do we reconcile our different views?

  • Myrna Metaphor
    Myrna Metaphor 7 aylar önce

    She is definitely wearing a white and yellow shirt

  • david Le
    david Le 7 aylar önce

    but why why someone get gas lighted ? i lost .

  • raeannel
    raeannel 7 aylar önce

    What if someone has accussed you of gaslighting? Now I have no idea if I am, or they are, the gaslighter. I'm so confused.

  • Dawn Bushman
    Dawn Bushman 7 aylar önce

    This happened with a coworker with narcissistic personality disorder. Thankfully they were not in the same department as where I worked, we shared the same lunch hour. The attacks were awful and done in front of others, so I went to my boss and requested to have my lunch hour moved to a different time. I did not confront this person as I had looked up other therapists on TRclips who said you don’t want to have a nasty confrontation with a narcissist, just cut your losses and leave. That’s what I did. Then others started moving their lunch break times to different times as well to avoid this person. I did mention the narcissistic behavior to my boss, so I don’t know if HR was notified, but my lunch breaks have felt peaceful since the move and this person recently left the organization.

  • Ali E
    Ali E 7 aylar önce

    you really great person and who really doing such a positive impact in life.
    thank you!

  • Mya Farris
    Mya Farris 7 aylar önce

    I was in a relationship with a narcissist and was not aware until after. I did alot of research..I knew that I was unhappy but I could never figure out why. And I went through a lot of gaslighting. To the point where it made me question reality. Like I knew what the truth was but it was to the point where he tried to make me question the truth. Like he tried to manipulate me and play with my emotions to keep me around after I started to catch on.

  • Lisbeth Escobar
    Lisbeth Escobar 7 aylar önce

    How to get of this person when that person is my mother??

  • Viva la Rach
    Viva la Rach 7 aylar önce

    Thank you so much for your channel. 💖✨🌷

    • Kati Morton
      Kati Morton  7 aylar önce +1

      Thank you for the message 😘😘