Everything Wrong With Jupiter Ascending In 19 Minutes Or Less

  • katma 18 Ağu 2015
  • Jupiter Ascending. If you saw it, you hate yourself. If you didn't, you're one of the lucky people who can carry on with life as normal. It's a sinful motherf*cker.
    Remember, only ONE sins video per week until October. But we'll have some stuff for Thursdays here and there as well.
    Remember, no movie is without sin. Which movie's sins do YOU want to see recounted?
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  • Film ve AnimasyonFilm ve Animasyon

YORUMLAR • 7 375

  • martin 0000
    martin 0000 Gün önce

    The telescope was her father's that was stolen. This film is ok and entertaining to watch. You on the other hand are unbearable with your lame sarcasm, I made a mistake clicking on this video..

  • Frank Pitts
    Frank Pitts Gün önce

    Walmart as the new DMV? You obviously have never been to the Social Security Admiration offices.

  • coffeetablesex
    coffeetablesex 2 gün önce

    that image couldnt be more rapey if he had his dick forced inside of her...

  • Izz and Stelly
    Izz and Stelly 5 gün önce


  • PRIM Moore
    PRIM Moore 6 gün önce

    4:43 As any Nerdfighter can tell you, FTL stands for *"French The Llama"!* (DFTBA)

  • Dragon Systems
    Dragon Systems 7 gün önce

    I actually had really high hopes for this movie.... which vanish at about the moment the lizard people first came on screen... I actually thought the movie had a really cool look too it though all the same

  • Carolina Murtha
    Carolina Murtha 8 gün önce

    I saw Mika Kunis on James Cordons show doing the “spill your guts/fill your guys” and one of the questions was “can you explain the plot of ‘Jupiter Ascending?’” She tried for a minute, gave and ate something gross. Now I get why she had such a hard time.

  • Banana Cat
    Banana Cat 8 gün önce

    This is quite possibly the worst movie I’ve ever seen

  • blazin4 glory
    blazin4 glory 9 gün önce

    This movie was shit. Like a car wreck i couldn't take my eyes off.

  • tnretired
    tnretired 10 gün önce

    Your opinion is like ass holes, everybody has one. If you did not like anything why did you bother watching???

  • KingLeo
    KingLeo 17 gün önce

    Hilarious, well done

  • michael galt
    michael galt 17 gün önce

    is this movie why she isn't in ted 2?

  • michael galt
    michael galt 17 gün önce

    did aquaman ripoff this opening? lmao. did aquaman actually ripp off a horrible movie?

  • The garbage you put in your couch

    the villain guy is trying hard to be lord voldemorte

  • The #6 Runaway Guys Fan
    The #6 Runaway Guys Fan 20 gün önce

    Jooper Gets Into Trouble

  • Brian Morrissey
    Brian Morrissey 22 gün önce

    sadly, watching this was as terrible as trying to watch the actual movie. i am sorry for the time you had to put into it. this movie is undeserving of your talent. i could not even watch your video. this is the worst movie in so many years.

    DANNY _BOII04 22 gün önce

    The CGI in this film is about as good as GI Joe's story line

  • fruitface22
    fruitface22 27 gün önce

    did the gun sounding like a dog barking bother anyone else?

  • KasperdelaRie
    KasperdelaRie Aylar önce

    By the off change they're gonna find a tumor in my brain in the next five-or-so years, I'm pretty sure it has started growing since I saw this abortion of a movie.

  • DiggyDwarf 2002
    DiggyDwarf 2002 Aylar önce

    Mysteries of Jupiter Ascending: How many moons are in Jupiter and many moons are larger?

  • I'm Trash Dude
    I'm Trash Dude Aylar önce

    Am I the only one who actually kinda enjoy this movie? ...

    You know what? Hmm... watching this made me like it less... I guess

  • Optical YouTube
    Optical YouTube Aylar önce +1

    Me: okay. So this movie features Bella Swan and Newt Scamander? Okay. Alright.

  • Dan OfDunolly
    Dan OfDunolly Aylar önce

    the 27Bstoke6 is another Terry Gilliam/Brazil terrible hat tip.
    I actually liked the Bureaucracy scene. It was the only scene I liked. And the only reason I watched the entire film was to see Terry's cameo ... It's like they had terry write 10 minutes of it and that 10 minutes was the only part of the film worth watching ...

  • Michael Lam
    Michael Lam Aylar önce

    The whole movie is wrong wrong wrong. Hard to believe it was made by the same wachowski brothers of the matrix fame. Did they become retarded?

  • Stephanie
    Stephanie Aylar önce

    I can't believe they didn't sin the maxi pad!!!

    JOBE MATULA Aylar önce

    I thought the movie was great... as a matter of fact I don't know of anyone who didn't like this movie.

  • John Koenig
    John Koenig Aylar önce

    The Wachowski sisters are cancer.

  • Kaelland
    Kaelland Aylar önce

    Sentence should have been "Laser Skates."

  • Christina Thomas
    Christina Thomas Aylar önce

    You keep saying waCHowski emphaszing the ch like "chair" but isnt it pronounced more like wakowski with a sharp c.

  • Ella V
    Ella V Aylar önce

    You call that Russian? It is my native language and until you said he was speaking Russian I didn't know which language that was.

  • Jawa Industries
    Jawa Industries Aylar önce

    Two and a half hours of Meg Griffin narrating.

  • John Smith
    John Smith Aylar önce

    I clicked on this to watch it a second time and though, "only a fool would click on this, without watching the movie, and think god this movie sucks". Then I got to the pushing out line.

  • Julia DeNiro
    Julia DeNiro Aylar önce

    A girl who's about as interesting as Bella Swan but who's SPESHUL because of her genes falls in love with a rollerblading werewolf-furry with wings. Did the Wachowskis steal the plot for this movie from a furry-Mary Sue romance on fanfiction.net?

  • J demitri
    J demitri Aylar önce

    Trivia: How man movies has Sean Bean betrayed the protagonist?

  • LonelySoulSearcher
    LonelySoulSearcher Aylar önce

    "Men do not like smart women" sin. It's actually sexist. Not racist. Race isn't involved. Sin added to cinema sins. And why I don't subscribe 😂

  • CoolDude33 455
    CoolDude33 455 Aylar önce

    I can review this movie in three words.

  • Tentons O'fun
    Tentons O'fun Aylar önce

    Lol @ the furry saying he has more in common with dogs than humans. Ok hyper dedicated LARP character you tell yourself that

  • Tentons O'fun
    Tentons O'fun Aylar önce

    They wont get everybody but a few people talking about aliens are crazy cliche. If any more than 2 or 3 people start on with a very similar story without any chance to corroborate with each other then it will immediately raise big ass red flags.

  • tom quigley
    tom quigley Aylar önce

    Needs a big hairy purple elephant.

  • Harvey 89
    Harvey 89 Aylar önce

    Your version of this movie is better than the real movie

  • Walrus Bellhop
    Walrus Bellhop Aylar önce

    This movie must so bad.
    I couldn't sit through the whole video

  • What About
    What About Aylar önce

    This shit movie and Cloud Atlas proves those bugged out of their mind brothers did not make the Matrix. But they got people in real life embracing the Matrix by calling those brothers sisters now. Literally, it's the scene where you choose to believe the mushy slime is steak when you know it's not steak, just like people calling the Wachowskis brothers sisters now. People are dumber than this movie.

  • ericb31
    ericb31 Aylar önce

    and that "humans are resources for alien life" line reminds me of a videogame called "galaxy harvest" where your job is to plant life on planets and Harvest it. and intelligent life will Evolve on planets after a while, and fight you.

  • ericb31
    ericb31 Aylar önce +1

    also, that business with the Bees reminded me of a line in a fantasy novel: "bees cannot abide the presence of evil."
    that's from a book called "the sleeping beauty" by Mercedes Lackey. it's a hilarious book that jumbles several classic stories together in very silly ways.

  • ericb31
    ericb31 Aylar önce

    this reminded me of a VERY silly old Japanese cartoon called "project A-Ko".
    the title-character , A-Ko, is super-strong and super-fast. near the end it's hinted that she's Superman's daughter, but never fully explained.
    her best friend is C-Ko, yes, C-Ko, who later turns out to be a lost alien princess. aliens invade earth JUST to get her back.
    and yes, there IS a character named B-Ko! she's a mad-scientist type who keeps building giant robots and powered-armor suits to attack A-Ko with...for no apparent reason except childhood jealousy...or maybe she has a crush on C-Ko...
    there's also at least THREE sequels!
    here's a clip:

  • Husk
    Husk Aylar önce

    Sorry,what was sin 221?

  • Husk
    Husk Aylar önce

    Sorry,what was sin 221?

  • Ryan V
    Ryan V Aylar önce

    Nah the DMV still sucks in 2019

  • joseph marsh
    joseph marsh 2 aylar önce

    Stop being an asshole this is actually a pretty good movie sit down and actually watch it before you called a piece of shit you piece of shit

  • Marielle
    Marielle 2 aylar önce

    Movie: "Will you marry me?"
    CS: Motherf*cker
    Me: *Whale noise* 🤣😂

  • V H
    V H 2 aylar önce +1

    Is no one going to talk about Jupiter almost married her genetic son?

  • Philip Whinfield
    Philip Whinfield 2 aylar önce

    Do mortal engines !!

  • ash thomas
    ash thomas 2 aylar önce

    4:43 *THOSE EARS*

  • ash thomas
    ash thomas 2 aylar önce

    3:07 - Redmayne looks constipated here

  • Random Stuff
    Random Stuff 2 aylar önce

    So with her being a queen of earth wouldn't that mean she could take over the earth easily and make it idk a better place instead of just going back to being a custodian?!?! I mean like I work with my mom cleaning people's houses and my motherfucking ass wouldn't be going back to do that if I found out I was the queen of earth like seriously this movie could of done better lmao

  • Jordan Chase
    Jordan Chase 2 aylar önce

    Exactly!!! Just like that kissing scene in Aquaman. Having a kissing scene, a very long passionate one..in the middle of a freaking WAR.

  • Groot2002
    Groot2002 2 aylar önce

    FTL means "faster than light"

  • lizzfrmhon
    lizzfrmhon 2 aylar önce

    God this movie was so bad. I wanted to slap Mila Kunis in the face every time she did that stupid head tilt thing like she was acting but she just looked and sounded constipated. So bland, emotionless, boring. After being with the wolf dude three times she’s suddenly in love. Yuck.

  • The Sweet Dance PLAY
    The Sweet Dance PLAY 2 aylar önce

    She is just Jupiter not Earth... It looks the guys were giving a try on Earth it self, obviously they are Muslims on Earth!

  • Solaria Adieus
    Solaria Adieus 2 aylar önce

    Funny moment in the car when they escape Chicago. She says ''Omg! You are bleeding'' / he ''it's nothing''/ she then says '' lucky for you, a woman own this car'' and then proceeds to place a sanitary napkin on the wound BACKWARDS!!!! I was like WHAT??? Even if the director is a male surely everyone knows how they are used right?

  • 21melpomene
    21melpomene 2 aylar önce

    Me to Eddie Redmayne in this movie: Speak up!
    Also me to Eddie Redmayne: Not that loud! XD

  • DeWayne Stafford
    DeWayne Stafford 2 aylar önce

    Not soylent green. Adrenochrome

  • Verónica Siczewski
    Verónica Siczewski 2 aylar önce

    Yet, I love 💗💝💕💞💞💞 this movie! My favourite!

  • Sandile Mutasa
    Sandile Mutasa 2 aylar önce

    Whoever cast Mila Kunis casted for other reason. The way she runs through a city collapsing and burning in 2012 mode....so sexy!! lol

  • Hunter Brown
    Hunter Brown 2 aylar önce

    “That’s racist”... hmmm that dosnt seem right

  • Chris Redd
    Chris Redd 2 aylar önce

    Everything wrong with Jupiter Ascending -- The whole movie :)

  • OriginalGamerOnline
    OriginalGamerOnline 2 aylar önce


  • Sark Rex
    Sark Rex 2 aylar önce

    I've seen the movie John Carter. I like the movie John Carter.
    The comparisons you make between this movie and John Carter are erroneous.
    Have YOU seen John Carter?!
    Because it is a FAR better movie than this. And I have seen this piece of crap.

  • Griffingirl
    Griffingirl 3 aylar önce


  • Alexander Christopher
    Alexander Christopher 3 aylar önce +1

    Honestly, I liked the premise. Sci-fi drama/adventure with some Games of Thrones vibe in it. That's the reason I first watched it.

  • stranger things and star wars central

    I nominate WalMart and middle school lines 😂😂

  • 1990cb7 Honda
    1990cb7 Honda 3 aylar önce

    CNN is shit and ran by low life disgusting assholes. Nobody with a brain believes anything they report

  • Amethyst Stone
    Amethyst Stone 3 aylar önce

    The problem with Mila Kunis is the fact that no matter what character she plays I can’t see her as anyone BUT Mila Kunis!

  • Winter Dark
    Winter Dark 3 aylar önce

    "Men do not like smart women"
    That's racists

  • MX TW
    MX TW 3 aylar önce

    This movie is........dog shit

  • David Morse
    David Morse 3 aylar önce

    I liked this movie.
    And I thought the laser skates were cool.
    And Mila Kunis is gorgeous enough to erase any number of sins!

    • Sleeping Backbone
      Sleeping Backbone 2 aylar önce

      you're hopeless...God have mercy on your soul. XD
      Mila in this movie is one averagely cute cold steak.

  • cinnamonbearcdc
    cinnamonbearcdc 3 aylar önce

    There may be something wrong with me. I actually watch these to see if some movies are interesting. You guys make me laugh but I share your love of taking them apart.

  • keeganshigh
    keeganshigh 3 aylar önce +1

    There could be a billion Mila kunis' and you still couldn't even catch a whiff unless you went Bill Cosby on the situation.

  • Read Love Listen
    Read Love Listen 3 aylar önce

    LOL I enjoyed this movie..

  • Taylor
    Taylor 3 aylar önce +6

    You seriously think CNN is factual lmfao

  • Harry Woko
    Harry Woko 3 aylar önce

    better film than a lot of shite ive seen

  • Joel Louzy
    Joel Louzy 3 aylar önce

    LOL Seriously i move from movie to movie to put me to sleep, and this one was on my top list after my second time of watching it. Along with all the new star wars movies marvel and dcu movies.

    • Joel Louzy
      Joel Louzy 3 aylar önce

      Honestly couldn't she have bought a better cheaper telescope than her dad had used 20 some years ago and probably had it for 20 or 30 years before that? For $1000 bucks you can get telescopes that hook up to your computer and will automatically find any celestial body you want. Add another 1500 dollars and you can purchase some serious amateur astro gear.

  • Wise Guy
    Wise Guy 3 aylar önce

    You obviously have never been to our 'modern day' 2019 DMV. Still a long fucking line!

  • Good Messenger Jennifer 2.0/Malak

    Thank you. Repent. Jesus loves you.

  • AJ Moore
    AJ Moore 3 aylar önce

    "Bee's don't Lie"

  • Mark Ukrainetz
    Mark Ukrainetz 3 aylar önce +2

    I went through this entire review, yet I have no idea what the movie was about.

  • Kate Hensley
    Kate Hensley 3 aylar önce

    Dik-dik is pronounced xylophone

  • Mehatestaxes
    Mehatestaxes 3 aylar önce

    HOW did kunis end up on the waves ? dark and UGLY in a BIG WAY ! She's like 3ft tall. I didnt see it because of HER !

  • S P
    S P 3 aylar önce

    greek=wannabe whites.

  • Tô Diệp Khanh
    Tô Diệp Khanh 3 aylar önce +1

    Eddie Redmayne explained that Balem suffered a throat injury, that's why he use that breathy-on-death bed voice. The Wachowski just didn't show it.

  • Geo Proctor
    Geo Proctor 4 aylar önce

    Would of been easier to tally the good, like the credits; 23 seconds, 30 tops, should be enough for your intro and closing.

  • kurt dean
    kurt dean 4 aylar önce

    This counts as watching a movie

  • Mrrp
    Mrrp 4 aylar önce

    This was one of the first movies I was able to recognize myself, as shit.

  • heygeno1951
    heygeno1951 4 aylar önce

    CNN reporting ?... ahHHHahahaHHahaAAA..... ( yeah... _your laugh_ ) all they report is fake news about Trump....

  • Paul S
    Paul S 4 aylar önce

    Last time I checked "women" is not a race.

  • Free Man
    Free Man 4 aylar önce

    Cinema Sins did you stutter.
    Sinema Sins.
    Sin-ema Sins.

  • Lynn Gaffney
    Lynn Gaffney 4 aylar önce

    So I am super late to this CinemaSin, but when Mila references 27B/6 at 12:45 in the video, I'm pretty sure it's not that she read up on anything as much as she's referencing to either the movie Brazil or a George Orwell factoid......but I could be looking waaaaaay deeper into it than I need to.

  • DanGan808 Ella
    DanGan808 Ella 4 aylar önce

    Mila Kunis simulates what it’s like when guys see Mila Kunis 🤣

  • Dreamwalk Baby
    Dreamwalk Baby 4 aylar önce

    lmoa. This is one the funniest videos I've ever seen on youtube!

  • eddohan
    eddohan 4 aylar önce

    Based on a true story!